Not easy to be single. How long we need to be caught and engaged?

22-10-08

I ask myself since many guys forcing me to think what that I want and why am I so particular, want to be single, and want to be free!

Single? "I am belong to me, don’t call me baby!" I don’t know am I single or I’m in a relationship, or I’m in many relationship? Because they are treating me well and they are always beside me. That is why I don’t feel lonely. I can simply take up the phone to call one up and make a lot of laugh! Is this call happy?

Em…this may be caused me to be choosy as all of them are very good and they have their strength, of cause the ego may make me angry sometime. But don’t know why, when potential opportunity become more and more, when friends keep increasing, the feeling to be single will be stronger! Haiz, more mean it does confuse me and make me think twise before I love. How do I love someone when I don’t want to lose someone? Is damn hard, and I become more and more selfish to keep holding all of their love. I don’t want to lose them, and then I decide to be single!

That is why I come out a solution to treat all good as they treat me! I keep my love but I share my heart and my feelings, you all are my best friend and hope that our friendship will keep in touch forever, even when you tell me that you love someone or going to marriage with someone, I will be happy and wish you all the best. I may feel sorry to lose you in the future, but I have all as my best friend, I think I will be happy. May be one day, the love angel may pity me and give me the love one, or show me the important or happiness to be pair. Hoping it to be happen.....

love angel make a misstake?

“Why I miss you so much and you never border about me? I make as ass of myself here to wait for you and to forgo another.”

Many people in this world tend to be silly when they come to a thing call - love. There is a guy to wait for a girl but the girl is to go for another guy who actually goes after another one girl. Why these things always happen? Is the love angel doing a mistake on human love or the human today don't like to have an easy life.

什么叫疼你的人？

13/10/08

他不是天天哄你的人，也不是每个星期带你去玩的人。
他反尔是你每天都在埋怨的那一个。一个把时间都放在工作上，天天叫你不要浪费的人。
因为这样的他才是要给你幸福的人。他会尽力要让你的未来过的很好，不愁吃，不愁穿。
如果他很疼你，什么都依你，从不为你思考未来，只要先在快乐就好。
那个他，肯定不是真正疼你的人，因为真正疼你的人不会是短暂的，
他会一直带着你，告诉你如何让你的未来不会有遗憾！
真正疼你的人，会有一个很长远的计划，让你成为真正幸福的人。

what are everything?

12/10/08

When people think that you are every things and actually you are nothing…
Yes, you think that I’m smart, gorgeous, brilliant, and what so ever, but I have to say I’m not. You make me feel pressure. I want to do everything in the right manner and in good order but I’m not capable. In my mind now, everything becomes bad. No good jobs, no good guy, no money! But when I think deeply, properly, everything will contain both good and bad, is just depend on the person who view and make comment to it. Every job will have its difficulties, and everyone will have his own strengths. I must be optimistic.

It’s like my jobs. The first one that I refuse to stay, it gives me good money, nice environment, flexible working hours. But I leave with my stupid mindset on this company will not offer me bright prospect and that is why I go for a system consultant.
Then I feel very boring, surrounding with Indians, Indian style environment, and nothing to do because I don’t have the IT knowledge. However, it does provide me good opportunity to learn the implementation stage of accounting system like what should organization take into account before acquires a new system. It is not a routine or difficult job, free enough for me to concentrate on my study. But this does not satisfy me again, because the old PC and they change it only when I tender my resignation and no Chinese colleague also. Again, I decide to run away and become a professional services consultant in a MNC.

Now, busy enough! I can feel very tension, everyday need to rush reports and meet dead line. As a professional service provider is really not an easy job, not only need to make sure that knowledge are enough to throw out and must be intelligent to reply any single questions that pop out from client who are financial controller or senior manager. Added, there is no one can help you when you talk to the person on the phone, how much you know and to what extant you can answer is in their figure tips. Don’t try to act as professional if you are not, it is totally no use when you really can’t answer their queries. Too pressure! Some more people around you are cool, you can’t feel warm. Headache and decide to run away again! This time worry a lot, don’t know what I want! What kind of jobs I will like it? And now, I have no choice but to start work quickly to make sure I can pay all my installments!

Come to partner. People may think that I’m choosy; He is good but short, he is tall but no potential, he is great but old, he is smart but fat, and he is wonderful but too young…. Never end, compare this and that, considering on future and his family too. Never satisfy! I will be alone?
Am I wrong to make such silly comparison? I know I will not get a perfect guy, but I just don’t want me to make a mistake on finding my whole life partner. He must be caring enough, because my ex does do so. He can be ugly but make sure he can take good care of me. For sure people will do comparison when there are choices. Actually it can be very simple also; I just want a guy who can make me love him. I try hard before to force myself love a good guy, but it is too selfish to accept the love without sharing mine.

what are everything?

12/10/08

When people think that you are every things and actually you are nothing…
Yes, you think that I’m smart, gorgeous, brilliant, and what so ever, but I have to say I’m not. You make me feel pressure. I want to do everything in the right manner and in good order but I’m not capable. In my mind now, everything becomes bad. No good jobs, no good guy, no money! But when I think deeply, properly, everything will contain both good and bad, is just depend on the person who view and make comment to it. Every job will have its difficulties, and everyone will have his own strengths. I must be optimistic.

It’s like my jobs. The first one that I refuse to stay, it gives me good money, nice environment, flexible working hours. But I leave with my stupid mindset on this company will not offer me bright prospect and that is why I go for a system consultant.
Then I feel very boring, surrounding with Indians, Indian style environment, and nothing to do because I don’t have the IT knowledge. However, it does provide me good opportunity to learn the implementation stage of accounting system like what should organization take into account before acquires a new system. It is not a routine or difficult job, free enough for me to concentrate on my study. But this does not satisfy me again, because the old PC and they change it only when I tender my resignation and no Chinese colleague also. Again, I decide to run away and become a professional services consultant in a MNC.

Now, busy enough! I can feel very tension, everyday need to rush reports and meet dead line. As a professional service provider is really not an easy job, not only need to make sure that knowledge are enough to throw out and must be intelligent to reply any single questions that pop out from client who are financial controller or senior manager. Added, there is no one can help you when you talk to the person on the phone, how much you know and to what extant you can answer is in their figure tips. Don’t try to act as professional if you are not, it is totally no use when you really can’t answer their queries. Too pressure! Some more people around you are cool, you can’t feel warm. Headache and decide to run away again! This time worry a lot, don’t know what I want! What kind of jobs I will like it? And now, I have no choice but to start work quickly to make sure I can pay all my installments!

Come to partner. People may think that I’m choosy; He is good but short, he is tall but no potential, he is great but old, he is smart but fat, and he is wonderful but too young…. Never end, compare this and that, considering on future and his family too. Never satisfy! I will be alone?
Am I wrong to make such silly comparison? I know I will not get a perfect guy, but I just don’t want me to make a mistake on finding my whole life partner. He must be caring enough, because my ex does do so. He can be ugly but make sure he can take good care of me. For sure people will do comparison when there are choices. Actually it can be very simple also; I just want a guy who can make me love him. I try hard before to force myself love a good guy, but it is too selfish to accept the love without sharing mine.

Pressure..?

7th October 2008

I can’t concentrate study!!!!!Terrible, eyes over the book but the minds go elsewhere. What lar! Exam is near and this is already the 5th times. What can I do? Should I resign and bang on this paper?

Is there any courses for me, teach me how to concentrate study? Is there any one can guide me on study smart without spending times to do revision? I am so boring to re-read all again and mostly I can write before I read the sentence.

I’m weak in answering fast, brain stuck and hand move slow when comes to answering. How can I overcome these? The only way is to do more practice? Write and think and write and think?
So how should I plan? Erm…start practice from now or study all over again? Haiz! It is very hard for me to become a good girl who concentrates on exam. Stop going to hiking, karaoke, yoga or Latin class. I got to stop, stop all this and my works also, bang on it and fight for the success.